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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27680449">Like No Other</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuinaminute/pseuds/cuinaminute'>cuinaminute</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Broken Engagement, Broken Heart, F/F, Flashbacks, Gen, Guns, I've edited it, Platonic Relationships, Reader-Insert, SHIELD, Weapons, Wedding Rings, gloom and kinda sad, hopefully, mention of injury, on a mission, past relationship, teeny tiny bit of Phil Coulson if you squint, this is my baby</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:55:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,059</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27680449</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuinaminute/pseuds/cuinaminute</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You've just finished a year long mission and a conversation with Maria Hill brings back feelings and memories that you were fine with ignoring. But the engagement box that is still sitting on the dresser refuses to be ignored.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Avengers Team/Reader, Maria Hill/Reader, Natasha Romanov (Marvel)/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>62</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Like No Other</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Take a breath. Calm down. In and out.</p><p>
  <em> One, one thousand </em>
</p><p>Do not panic. Do not over-analyze. Do not get caught.</p><p>
  <em> Two, one thousand </em>
</p><p>Think about your next move. Think about the goal. Think about the end result.</p><p>
  <em> Three, one thousand </em>
</p><p>You have the USB stick with the intel; you have your gun. Now you just had to get back to the rendezvous point and get the hell out of here.</p><p>But there was a problem.</p><p>The light from the alarm illuminating the room in red and the ear-piercing sound ringing out is definitely not part of the plan. The smoking hole in the monitor of the computer you were just working on and the unconscious guard on the ground didn't help either. "What the hell?" You mutter to yourself as you pocket the USB stick. "You didn't have to shoot the computer." You tell the guard as you take his gun, put the safety on, and toss the weapon across the room. You shake your head because, of course, something like this would happen; the universe couldn't spare a moment and give you a break? No, of course not.</p><p>You counted seven when you entered the building with a stolen keycard, seven armed guards who were more preoccupied with their own thing than they would care to admit. Two who look barely over eighteen chatting softly. One snoozing against the wall and the others playing poker on the concrete floor. None paying attention to their surroundings, too busy in their own little worlds to notice you slipping past without a sound. </p><p>Now they were down one and with fingers on the trigger. You make one wrong move, turn down the wrong hallway, run into the wrong person, and they won’t think twice before shooting.</p><p>Six guards, 2 minutes and counting to get out of here, clearly not enough time to sneak out the way you came before reinforcements show up. You did not want to be surrounded when you were so close to ending this operation. Get out and make one phone call, that's all you had to do and then you would be homebound.</p><p>"Stop!" You don't stop. Not even when the sound of bullets leaving a gun barrel seems to echo off the walls. You chance a glance behind you as you round another corner, it was one of the two rookie guards, just great. You were not in the mood to deal with this.</p><p>......</p><p>You shift your balance from left to right impatiently as the ringing continues, it’s after the 5th ring and you're just about to hang up and try again when the person answers. "Do you know what time it is?" The voice on the other end sounds slightly irritated but not a trace of drowsiness. "No idea." You grin when you hear a sigh through the phone and you just know she's shaking her head at you. "What do you need agent?" </p><p>Business tone, as usual.</p><p> "Well," You absentmindedly lean against the phone booth while you think. "I would really like a hot shower and a bottle of vodka." She ignores your comment because she's professional like that. "Do you have the flash drive?" You take said flash drive out of your pocket and fiddle with it for a moment. "I'm looking at it." You examine the shiny silver very important USB stick. "Good, keep it safe and secure. It's too important to get into the wrong hands again." You nod a little at her words before speaking. "Yes, I know."</p><p>You tap the USB against your chin as you wait to see if she’s going to continue. “I have a bottle of vodka with your name on it when you get back.” You smile at that because she knows you so well. “As long as you keep Tony away from it. You know him and alcohol.” You joke and you hear her snicker at your comment. “Tony knows not to go anywhere near my stash.” Her voice is very serious and you smile. “You don't even let Fury near it.” You add because it’s true, no one goes near Maria’s alcohol. A moment of silence goes by and you’ve realized how much you’ve missed talking to her. </p><p>“Thank you.” Your voice is just above a whisper and you hope she knows what you mean. “Don't mention it, I’m here if you need me.” She responds in a soft tone and there is a short moment before she clears her throat and goes back to being the professional person she is. "Your flight will be ready tomorrow." You hum in response and you're about to ask her something when Maria says your name which causes you to pause. "She wants to talk to you when you get back." You know what she's doing, a simple warning, be prepared. Your grip on the phone tightens enough to make your hand almost cramp up and you have to remind yourself to relax. </p><p>"I don't want to talk to her." The flash drive goes back in your pocket. "I'm just the messenger." She adds because she knows you don't, she knows that you'd rather do anything else but talk to her. </p><p>You hang up the phone after a very quiet "See you soon." from the other end, knowing you weren't meant to hear it. But that doesn't help your sour mood now as you pull your coat tighter around you, it's raining outside this glass box. </p><p>The walk back to the place you're staying takes longer than you would like, the rain has only increased and the sidewalks are sleek and reflect the streetlights. Your fingers play with the USB that’s hidden in one of the many pockets of your coat as you try to keep your anxiety at bay. There were a handful of people walking despite the rain, people with umbrellas, parents and children, men with fedoras and suitcases going god knows where. The sky is dark and your hair is damp but you ignore the chill that seems to seep into your bones from the ice-cold rain, you need a shower, a first aid kit, and a warm bed. </p><p>......</p><p>The apartment you’re staying at is dark and quiet, the air is stuffy and warm, the place looks familiar and strange at the same time. With the door locked and the USB in a secure place, you drop your coat over the couch and unclip your gun from your belt.</p><p>After a hot shower that does nothing to help you relax and patching up your shoulder with what little there was in the first aid kit, you figured you had about 4 hours of sleep before having to be on the plane. You rub the back of your neck before sitting down on the edge of the queen bed with simple white sheets, glancing around the room as your fingers fidget with the handgun that's in your lap. The one she gave you when you first joined the team, said it was a gift. You believed her and despite yourself, you still can't find it in you to get rid of it.</p><p>You put the gun in the drawer of the nightstand and set the alarm clock that's sitting next to the lamp which doesn't match the aesthetic of the room, it looks too old. The sounds that should be familiar by now are anything but, the ticking of the clock that hangs above the doorway, the occasional creak in the hardwood flooring and the rattling from the window unit keep your senses on alert.</p><p>As you lay against the cold sheets staring at the white ceiling, you can do nothing to keep the memories at bay. Red flowing hair and sparkling emerald eyes, a smile bright and full of joy. You remember how nervous you were when you first asked her out. You kept fumbling over your words and almost didn't even go through with it, but then she took your hand and told you she would love to go with you to the little café you suggested because you knew she wanted to go to it but hadn’t gotten the chance.</p><p>Taking a deep breath you close your eyes as you try and ease the ache in your chest. You promised yourself that you wouldn't let it get to you. She doesn't deserve your tears. </p><p>You don't want to remember what happened, you don't want to relive it again. Why did Maria have to remind you that she's waiting for you? That she wants to talk to you? </p><p>You know that she was just looking out for you, Maria was the one who was with you when you asked for this assignment, she was with you during the first six months before Fury asked for her to return and you to stay and finish the mission. She was the one who helped you through your pain when it was all you could feel, when you thought that you would drown, she was an anchor in many ways. You thought it wouldn't bother you anymore after some time.</p><p>Now here you are clutching a pillow tightly against your chest as tears escape without permission. Forget about the physical burn of your muscles and the bullet wound in your shoulder, no that's not what hurts. You feel like someone is trying to tear your heart from inside your ribcage. Your eyes sting as tears fall, the fabric of the pillowcase damp from your tears and your pain. It's been a year, she shouldn't be affecting you like this. You told yourself that you were done crying.</p><p>The last conversation the two of you had before you left hurts more than you would care to admit. </p><p>
  <em> "Don't you get it, Nat?" You can’t help your nervous chuckle as you look everywhere but her. Another argument has stolen the fire from you, that's all the two of you did lately. She seemed to like picking fights with you over the littlest things, stuff that shouldn’t be the start of arguments. "You're it for me," You pause because it's the first time you've admitted it out loud, this is more than an ‘I love you’, especially for you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "There is no one else, there will never be anyone else." It's a whisper and you can't help it, but you also don't care because this entire conversation is making it feel like there's an iron grip on your heart and it just keeps squeezing and squeezing. You take a deep breath to give yourself courage. "I don't want anyone else." You finally look up and you're not surprised that she's still facing the door, she won't look at you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "You can't keep pushing me away because you feel like you don't deserve to be happy." You take a small step towards her. "I love you." You've told her time and time again, you've shown her how much she means to you. Why doesn’t she believe you? With a deep breath, because you know you’re not going to win this, you square your shoulders and wait as you give her the chance at breaking you with her next words if she so chooses. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You wish the length of silence wasn't so long before she speaks and when she finally does, she doesn't turn around to look you in the eyes.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I don't want you to assume something that isn’t true." She grabs the doorknob tighter and turns it with a subtle click. “Please…” The tone of your voice makes her pause. “I don't want what you want.” She still won't look at you and you can’t help but feel like you're losing something extremely important. "Now leave me alone and let's not talk about this again."  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She's out the door faster than you can process her words.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Okay." </em>
</p><p>......</p><p>The alarm ringing out through the room jolts you from your slumber and reminds you what time it is, time to suck it up and pretend like it still doesn't bother you, time to go home. You grip the pillow tighter and refuse to move as the annoying sound continues, your head hurts, your shoulder is throbbing and you remember why you don't want to face her. The small dark velvet box that’s been gathering dust on the dresser, the tiny ring box that’s slightly paled in color and is covered in a layer of dust, the one you refuse to acknowledge is right there. </p><p>It was after you bought that ring when your relationship started going downhill. All of a sudden she started avoiding you and going out of her normal routine to make sure the two of you weren't alone together.</p><p>Did she know? No, of course not. There was no way she knew that you were planning on proposing. You made sure to keep it close to your chest, not even Clint knew. It's not like you made a split decision, the two of you had talked about it before in the past. The only person that you told was Steve because he was great with giving advice and the only one you could think of that would keep it secret no matter what, you even gave him the ring at one point to make sure that there was no way she would find it by chance. </p><p>Turns out that she still found out. She was a spy after all.</p><p>Wanda was the one who ended up telling you why she was avoiding you and you couldn't help but apologize to her for being sucked into the drama that you felt was your fault.</p><p>Seeing her again after being gone for so long, it's going to be weird. You'd much rather run in the opposite direction, but Maria made you promise. You smile a little at the memory because she refused to walk out the door until you promised her that you would stop running. She then gave you a hug and a kiss on the cheek when you reassured her that you’d keep your word, come home when this mission is done. </p><p>When you’re overly annoyed with the alarm blaring and telling you to get out of bed you stab it with the combat knife that you usually keep under the other pillow, the one you didn’t realize was in your hand until you're staring at it impaling the poor alarm clock. </p><p>“Damn it.” You mutter as you finally sit up leaving the knife in the now broken electronic. That’s the fifth alarm clock you’ve destroyed since Maria left. She usually turned it off before you woke up and since she’s been gone the cashier at the store kept giving you a weird look whenever you had to buy a new one, it’s not like you mean to murder the alarm clock when it’s being annoying, it kind of just happens. </p><p>The floor is cold against your feet when you finally get out of bed and get ready for the day ahead. Packing your stuff is easy, you didn't take a lot when you left just the essentials and your choice of a few weapons. You did steal Carol’s scarf though, the one that you always borrowed and refused to give back, you loved the way it felt and that there was a chance even if it was a slim one that the scarf that was Carol’s favorite had seen the stars firsthand. You didn't know but that also did not squash the possibility.</p><p>You shut off the light to the bedroom and toss the duffle bag full of your stuff on the couch as you head to the kitchen to make something to drink before you leave. Coffee was never your favorite drink in the morning but it did help you wake up when you needed to be aware during a meeting. </p><p>As you're leaning against the counter waiting for the coffee you can't help but think about her. How she always made sure that you had a cup before Clint took the entire pot, or how she figured out how to beat you at cards, found out that you hate it when someone folds your socks, she knew why you kept a knife in the bathroom, she even knew the only reason you played billiards was to keep everyone else from winning. </p><p>You remember the first time she told you that she loved you. It wasn't something special or out of the ordinary, you weren't even expecting it but that didn’t matter because for the rest of the day you couldn’t stop smiling. And you loved her, you still love her, like no one other. </p><p>Taking a sip of the coffee you make sure you have the keys to the front door and the USB stick. No matter how much you want to stay you know you can't. </p><p>......</p><p>You slip your hands in the pockets of your coat as the pilot greets you, his name was Daniel, an agent of shield, one of Phil's friends if you remember correctly. You didn't know him personally and he seemed like a nice guy but that doesn't mean you trust him. He keeps talking about his wife and his car and you didn't have an interest in reminding him that it's best to keep personal things unsaid in this line of work.</p><p>You drop your bag next to you as you take a seat, Daniel is still talking and you have half a mind to listen when your hand grazes the small box in your coat pocket that you just couldn't leave on the dresser no matter how much you wanted to.</p><p>Closing your eyes, you take a breath to calm your nerves and heart that won't slow down. The plane starts up and you have to remember to breathe.</p><p>Your fingers curl around the box that at one point held a happy ever after and now it’s just a reminder of a whole bunch of what ifs.</p><p>This job isn't easy. You don't sit at a desk all day or stare at a computer for endless hours either, you don't work at a bank or a hospital. There was no white picket fence waiting for you.</p><p>You are an agent of shield, you've worked side by side with the avengers.</p><p>Not a lot of things scare you.</p><p>But going back, seeing her again, that terrifies you.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay so hi everyone who reads this! I hope you liked it and if you want then feel free to leave a comment. It would be great to get feedback :)<br/>I've spent way too long on this, as in almost six months long. I've also gone from loving this to hating it on the same day and back so yeah it's been a rollercoaster while writing this.<br/>Also, I've read over this so many times just looking at it makes my eyes hurt so if there is grammar problems or spelling problems I'm very sorry.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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